Initially I was extremely excited. That was in June. Then I went to ridiculously anxious. That was in July. Now I am feeling about 70/30 excited/anxious. This is August.
The beginning of school is always thrilling for me. The new supplies and clothes, the beginnings of organization, watching my kids as they begin their new 187 day journey, getting the school year started as Fall and Winter roll around...these are a few of my favorite things. It means football...all week long. Friday night high school games, Saturday college games, Sunday NFL games, Monday night and Thursday night football games...LOVE!
Now, this year, I am returning to the full time work force. Initially getting the job after the stressful time of interviewing was thrilling and exciting. The hopes of brand new employment is a challenge that I really looked forward to. Then as the summer progressed and I started thinking about the logistics, I started to get restless and anxious. I don't know anything about the school district. Will I make professional friends? Will they embrace me as a new employee to their school? Will I be able to organize things how I want them? Who are my contacts for questions? I just had a million questions. My personality is wanting to be the contact person, wanting to know what's going on so that I can help others. It's very disconcerting to be brand new employee, learning the ropes, protocols, who to eat lunch with, can I remember everyone's names, etc.
Last week, after finishing all the back to school shopping for the boys, buying two weeks worth of new scrubs for me, and finishing up supply purchases, I had a private moment with Jesus while doing some late night swimming. I prayed for him to take it over. My anxiety will take over as I try to plan for every what-if that may or may not happen. I'm fully competent, I'm fully capable, and I am prepared, but God needs to take me over. Every single darn time that I worry and ask God to do his will and change my perspective, He does. Like, why don't I do this every single day?!
So I'm now feeling pretty good about it. I got in to my clinic and was able to organize paperwork a bit and do a little decorating to make the office a bit more cheerful.
Now I begin work Monday. We have two full weeks of professional development before the kids return on the 22nd. I'm ready to get into a routine of early morning swimming for exercise, some coffee with breakfast and some quiet time with God before waking up the kids, getting their breakfast and lunches packed, getting dressed while they get dressed, and getting out the door at 7am to drop them off at Clute, and then head to Ogg for me. Off work around 4pm, head to pick up the boys, and back home for dinners, homework, and downtime before nighttime routines and prep for the next day.
Summer is a wonderful, blasty blast of time as a family when we can relax and not have to worry about band, homework, early to bed and early to rise, and extra activities. But it has had its season. I'm ready to return to Fall. I'm ready to take care of between 400-500 students and staff. I'm ready for the challenge of a new job. I'm ready for crisp evenings at the football field. I'm ready for a scarf! I'm ready for pumpkin spice. I'm ready for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Let's do this!
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