A lot of it is just work related stress. You know, the kind of stress when you are planning several things and just want them to go well. That is something I can handle. I can handle being busy and feeling like I always have to be in constant motion...for a limited amount of time. Here is the "planning stress":
- leading our final PTO meeting of the year
- hosting and setting up a dessert bar for Teacher Appreciation
- selling carnations for Teacher Appreciation
- a catered meal for Teacher Appreciation
- a school party
- buying prizes for End of Year prize delivery....and setting it up
- Field Day
- final AR delivery
- End of Year class parties
- End of Year teacher luncheon
- Jansen's birthday party
- my birthday, Mother's Day, our anniversary all this month
I am up to my eyebrows in the details of it all. Thank God we have some really fantastic volunteers at our school that are really working hard!!
The other thing that I am not having the best time managing stress wise is dealing with Caleb. The worry, the uncertainty, the every day management. I have been praying HARD since December about what to do about his education. While I have never wanted to homeschool, I am at the point where I have a peace and confidence in the realization that I think it is best for Caleb at this time. My husband is not supportive of this, and honestly, I cannot go forward without his blessing.
I am praying that if this is the direction that we should go, that Josh's heart be softened, and I be made fully capable of educating him. I am researching EVERYTHING. My mind is overloaded and swirling.
So, if the 98% of myself if actually correct, and we begin homeschooling him in the Fall, our school will be called Spectrum Academy. (I love the theory behind the Spectrum of Teaching/Learning and the Autism Spectrum). My homeschool philosophy is: "Promoting engagement and individuality in education".
This is what I want for him: to be engaged, to be a life long learner, and to embrace the fact that he learns in a different way. Not wrong, just different. And individual attention is what is going to help him the most.
Ah, motherhood. Where is the manual???