In true Amber fashion, I have made it to the midpoint of the semester, and I hit another wall. Just like last semester, I was truckin right along and then midterm hit me in the face.
I got to school Monday feeling just highly emotional for some reason. Simulation did not go well, and I was extra sensitive, and I began to cry at school.
I quietly walked out of the classroom to go cry in the bathroom and then get myself together. Then when I came back into the room, I again quietly slipped into the back row. My teacher then drew attention to me by asking if I felt better...and that just really rubbed me the wrong way.
Nothing is worse to me than crying at school and showing that vulnerability. I changed from emotional to straight up pissed. I packed my stuff and walked out.
By the time I got to my car, my husband had been texting me about Caleb's broken bracket (the dentist was off for the next three weeks and couldn't get it fixed), and the school had called me about Caleb's behavior. I lost my mind in the car and cried super hard all the way home. Josh came out into the garage as soon as I drove up and just hugged me and let me cry. I sat on my couch and kept crying and for some reason, I juts couldn't stop.
My classmate Michelle called me to check on me and I cried the whole time we were talking. It lasted like 45 minutes. That is just ridiculous for me. And then Caleb's school called me again to let me know that he was going to have detention the next day for scratching the desk.
Thankfully, Josh was home from work that day and took Caleb to get his braces pseudo-fixed and was able to pick him up from school after detention.
My friend, Crystal brought me flowers after my mental breakdown. How sweet is that?! I don't deserve that!
Then Jansen came home with a note from two of his teachers saying he had about 30 missing assignments, and by the way, they were going to be due the following week.
I had to study for two tests that night, and honestly, that just didn't happen. I was so off my game, that I made an 88 on my med surg exam (I should have only missed one) and a 95 on a freaking open book mental health exam (I totally skipped answering a question)!
Then Wednesday and Thursday was just a straight up stressful two days at clinical at the nursing home. This week could not end quick enough. THEN to top it off, Thursday evening I got sick. I ran fever for two days and today I am finally starting to feel better. But I had to get all my work done for Monday while I was sick. I did my best and I hope it is good enough. We will find out tomorrow.
Silver lining, I got sick over the weekend and didn't have to miss school. Thank God!
Thank the Lord that there are only 4 days of school and clinical standing in between me and Spring Break. Nursing school is not for the faint of heart. This is some serious stuff!