On the eve of the 2 week mark of this stupid surgery, I have to say that I am an emotional basketcase. I am not even shy to admit it. There are so many people out there that have tummy tucks and have no problems, have a little pain, and then are happy go lucky by the second week and ready to go back to work. OHMYGOSH if I had to go to work outside the home this week, I would just have to quit.
Yesterday, I got my last drain out and the doctor says my incision looks fine. He wants to see me in a week, keep wearing the binder, and stay a couch potato for one more week. I admit, I am going stir crazy!!!!!!!
I have cried all day long. All day. No, not some of the day, all day. On the phone, in the shower, putting the kids to bed, Josh going back to work on graveyards, to my mom on the phone, getting a little walking in....I have cried...and not just like a little blue....like hard core, headache inducing crying. In fact, I am literally crying as I write this and it is 8:45 at night.
I admit, I am not hurting as much. Soreness is the issue right now. I am slow to do things, still not standing up fully straight, still not sleeping. Now is all this emotion coming from the narcotic letdown (no longer taking the pain pills)? Is it coming from being stuck in the house for 2 weeks? Is it coming from lack of sleep? Maybe unachieved expectations??? Which in my head, I realize that I cannot expect to see results for several weeks, to several months, even up to a year in some cases.
So today, I cry over my selfishness, stupidity, my complete inability to get anything done, my binder that pinches my skin when I attempt to sleep, the bruises that are still left from hip to arm pit, my sore chest, my swollen incision that goes almost completely around my body, my legs that I haven't shaved in 2 weeks and don't forsee being able to shave them any time soon, my inability to fit in ANY clothes other than my husbands', my inability to put on shoes, over a body that is not my own, and to the feeling that I may never gain back my sanity or ability to be a mom and wife.
This is like all the things that they don't tell you when you get pregnant...these are the things they don't tell you in the surgical consultation room. You will feel like a crazed lunatic. Every thought or feeling that you can ever imagine, you will have.
And I can't wait to write the post about how wonderful I feel, how great I look, and how everything is back to normal.