Monday, November 29, 2010
Oh, I have a love/hate relationship with this binder. I think I need to wean myself off of it, because I feel so vulnerable with it off. I am going to switch to spanx or some different kind of control top something. He said I don't have to sleep in it, but if I am going to be up a lot (buying groceries, cleaning, etc) to wear it to reduce the swelling. He also cleared me to begin walking at the track again, although I am supposed to wear a binder and start off at only 10 minutes. Today I did go out by myself to grab a couple Christmas gifts and to go to the bank before the doctor and I am way tired. Good thing I don't have to go anywhere until tonight!
I was encouranged by the PS's attitude and by his happiness with my progress. Asked all the questions I needed to and now it is just a waiting game. I can't wait to be able to buy a few new clothes and bras! WOOHOO!!
Ok, so now I am done with my plastic surgery rants since my whole life for 3 weeks has been wrapped up in it. Gotta get back to ME!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I really had to get up several times and walk around. By the time we walked all the way back down the ramps and got to the car, I was in pain. My stomach was very swollen and my incision was aching. But it was worth it, because my Texans beat the Titans 20-0. That's right folks...a shut out!!! Yes!!!
Coming home today I was confronted by all my anxiety. I so look forward to tomorrow, because even if I don't feel like it, I am going to get back into my normal Mom-routine. I am going to get up early with my kiddos, make breakfast, sign papers, make lunches, pack backpacks, oversee teeth brushing and showers, set out clothes, walk the kids to school, do a little Christmas shopping, wrap some gifts, finish up laundry, cook dinner, go to the doctor, and take Jansen to piano lessons. I don't care if I swell up, for my own sanity, I have to get back to my active lifestle. I am still not sleeping, which that in and of itself makes me dread bedtime, and I am still a little emotional. The only way to change that is to do my best to make myself feel normal again...even if I have to fake it for a little while.
Light at the end of the tunnel? I may see a tiny spark WAY off in the distance!! Oh how I hope this Tylenol PM works tonight.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Do I feel a little better? Yeah. Can I sleep without taking a pain pill? No. AGH!
I have a list of questions to ask my PS on my next appointment on Monday, now that I am fully in my right mind and everything is healing.
This Sunday we are headed to the Texans game at big, bad Reliant Stadium. Originally, I thought this would be no big deal since the doctor said recovery time would take about 2-4 weeks. The game would be almost 3 weeks out. But what I didn't anticipate was the fact that results will take 6 weeks to 3 months and maybe more. Which means I may not be able to fit into anything for the game. I did brave a pair of jeans....I tried on a pair of jeans that the week before surgery, I could take off without undoing the button and the zipper. Yesterday, I barely got them over my hips and at least got them buttoned. Can you say SWELL HELL?????
My PS wants me to wear the binder for one more week and then switch to some kind of tummy control undergarments. So on Sunday, I think I am going to wear my Spanx since they go from mid thigh to just above the abdomen. That should give a good amount of compression in all areas of concern. And I am going to rest all day Friday and Saturday, and then all day Monday. Sunday will be a big day.
I am starting to feel some sharp pains under the skin as the nerves are regenerating. I only have soreness when I sit for too long or stand for too long. My chest is very sore, almost more sore than my tummy.
Tomorrow when Josh wakes up, we are going to start Christmas decorating. I think the only thing I am going to do is the tree and the mantle...I am just not up to doing much more than that. And bonus, Josh gets to go into the attic this year and get everything down, not me! Silver lining!!!
Here's to falling asleep before 2:30am!! Please oh please let me fall asleep before midnight!!!!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Yesterday, I got my last drain out and the doctor says my incision looks fine. He wants to see me in a week, keep wearing the binder, and stay a couch potato for one more week. I admit, I am going stir crazy!!!!!!!
I have cried all day long. All day. No, not some of the day, all day. On the phone, in the shower, putting the kids to bed, Josh going back to work on graveyards, to my mom on the phone, getting a little walking in....I have cried...and not just like a little blue....like hard core, headache inducing crying. In fact, I am literally crying as I write this and it is 8:45 at night.
I admit, I am not hurting as much. Soreness is the issue right now. I am slow to do things, still not standing up fully straight, still not sleeping. Now is all this emotion coming from the narcotic letdown (no longer taking the pain pills)? Is it coming from being stuck in the house for 2 weeks? Is it coming from lack of sleep? Maybe unachieved expectations??? Which in my head, I realize that I cannot expect to see results for several weeks, to several months, even up to a year in some cases.
So today, I cry over my selfishness, stupidity, my complete inability to get anything done, my binder that pinches my skin when I attempt to sleep, the bruises that are still left from hip to arm pit, my sore chest, my swollen incision that goes almost completely around my body, my legs that I haven't shaved in 2 weeks and don't forsee being able to shave them any time soon, my inability to fit in ANY clothes other than my husbands', my inability to put on shoes, over a body that is not my own, and to the feeling that I may never gain back my sanity or ability to be a mom and wife.
This is like all the things that they don't tell you when you get pregnant...these are the things they don't tell you in the surgical consultation room. You will feel like a crazed lunatic. Every thought or feeling that you can ever imagine, you will have.
And I can't wait to write the post about how wonderful I feel, how great I look, and how everything is back to normal.
Friday, November 19, 2010
At this time, I can't really think about anything else other than staying in bed and trying to sleep. I cannot wait to get back to the school, get my house cleaned, start on some Christmas crafts and decorating, and getting out of the house!
My surgery looks successful for being only a little over 1 week post op. My stomach is flat, minus the swelling around the scar, the breast augmentation turned out great, but my hips and thighs look so big. The nurse assures me this is swelling from the surgery and in a couple of months it will be gone, but seeing the flatness of my tummy vs the curviness of my lower half really motivates me to get back on my healthy eating habits and back to the track. The doctor assured me that exercise can reshape my lower half, whereas there was nothing that could have been done for my torso short of addressing it surgically.
Thanksgiving is next week, a holiday I traditionally cruise right over. The part I look forward to most is...the Day After Thanksgiving. While other crazy people are camped out in front of Best Buy for Black Friday, I am always comfortably at home decorating my house. That is our tradition. And do you know why? Because I am already finished with the bulk of my Christmas shopping. I buy a little all year long so that I don't have to charge something I cannot afford.
The boys are getting excited for the holidays and I think even the hubs is this year. Since I have been stuck in bed for over a week, I have been watching TV a lot....Christmas commercials galore!!!! It's rubbing off on my family and getting them in the spirit.
Woohoo. Give me another week and I will be good to go! And I HAVE to be better for the Texans game on the 28th!!!!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Going in to this, I knew there would be pain. So Wednesday, I walked into the surgical suite a little nervous but overall excited for this opportunity. I had written down everything Josh needed to know about how to handle both house and kids, and went blissfully to sleep. It all happened so fast that I didn't have time to be nervous. A few hours later, Josh otook me home and gave me all my meds and for the next two days I drifted in and out of consciousness. When I got up to go to the restroom, I was greeted with the same pain that I felt with my spinal surgeries, only to a slightly different degree. I am wearing a compression sports bra, an abdominal binder, and thigh high compression stockings. Mummified.
Josh has been extremely wonderful. This attentive side is something that is new for me to see in him. He has slept on the couch, keeps snacks and drinks at my bedside table, sets the alarm for all my meds, helps me up and down, and has taken care of the boys and their extracurriculars. Such a blessing for him to be so supportive and helpful.
Today was the first day I got a good look at everything. And it looks grizzly. I got myself up and slowly started a morning shower, which took me an hour from start to finish. I pulled off all the binders and bandages and this will be a big scar. But my hernia has been repaired and even though everything is still bruised and swollen, my stomach is flat. The doctor said that he took 5 pounds of loose skin from my abdomen. That is incredible to me. My drains should be removed by Thursday, if not earlier, and honestly...that will be one of the biggest blessings. Everytime I move those drains pull against my skin.
Anyway, I am overall sore, sleepy, and yet encouraged. I can't wait to get back to a normal routine, play with my boys, put up the Christmas decor, start walking again, and buying a few new clothes. Laying in bed is frustrating..... Yay for new beginnings!!!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Not so nervous about the pain or even the actual surgery...more for the results, which I know will not be 100% for a couple of months. I am hesitant to take my own "before" pictures because I just don't want to be reminded.
The nurse took about 20 pictures at my pre-op, so I am sure if I wanted to get some of those, I could.
I have purchased my Anti-embolic panty hose (which I will be wearing to the surgery), my binder, all my meds, hydrogen peroxide, neosporin, paper tape, pads, sports bras....and have picked out the jammies, socks, and my glasses...all of which I will be wearing to the doctor tomorrow morning. It will be total sexiness...maybe I will take a picture of me in the room.
I wonder if they could just knock me out now and let me wake up on Friday....
We had a good time, saw things we had never seen before, and both agreed that we will not be back on a cruise for a while. The only other cruise we had been wanting to take is the Disney Cruise. We have been waiting for the newest ship to premier sometime in 2011 and for the children to be just a wee bit older to enjoy everything that the Disney Cruise can offer. Shooting for sometime in 2012....if the world doesn't end by then....
Does anyone really believe that craziness??? Not me.
AND I won 2nd place in the cruise TV Trivia game. HOLLA!!!!! I am full of useless info! :)
Anyway, without further ado....the obligatory pictures of our trip to Cozumel.....
Cindy, my mother in law, and I on the Lido deck
Josh and his dad
Hitting the bar when we got on the ship
Getting our BINGO on
Going out the first night
Dessert....molten chocolate cake
sunset on the balcony
beautiful sunset in the Gulf of Mexico
Our ship...the Carnival Ecstacy
Captain's Dinner night
My in laws for the Captain's dinner
my shoes...I love them
drink of the day...some tropical coconut thing
My father in law's birthday
a frozen chocolate drink that was my favorite!!!
Cruising some more...
the beaches of Cozumel
How gorgeous is this?! I cannot believe there are places on earth this beautiful!
my toes in the white sand
swinging in my hammock after walking up 132 steps to the top of a lighthouse...and then back down
more hammock action
the view from said Lighthouse
said lighthouse, the first modern lighthouse on the island
riding the dune buggy around the island
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
For those of you who don't know, I will be having a Mommy Makeover. That can include many things, but mine includes a tummy tuck with adjacent lipo, a hernia repair, and a breast augmentation. Before I get the onslaught of judgement...hold it...you haven't seen me without clothing. I have asked for this for 5 years now and after losing 35 pounds...my tummy is actually worse. How can it get any worse? Well it did.
So, my husband is fully supporting my decision and I love him for that!!! I am super excited about it, and am hoping that the recovery time is going to go quickly and well.
Two days until my cruise!
Monday, November 1, 2010
The boys were Mario and Luigi....Jansen was Mario this year and Caleb was Luigi because "I am taller and so is Luigi." Good times!
And my toes are cruise-ready!!! Three more days!